Daily Blog #47: Big Vince Wilfork Retires… via a Sponsored Ad on Twitter

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Normally, I make fun of overweight players. Case-in-point, Eddy Lacy’s weight incentive fat ass, which I’m definitely not imagining as funny. But Vince Wilfork has always been one of those guys that’s different for me. Looking back, it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense, my making fun of any football player at all, as I’m wildly out of shape and couldn’t bench a 3rd of what they rep easily. Wilfork made me rethink my whole approach to Defensive Tackles and big men on the D-Line in general. It was truly a joy to watch smaller players getting the wind knocked out of them while flailing around like rag dolls after getting smacked by the force of a small truck.

As an sucker for clever Advertising gimmicks my entire life and contrary to what you may expect from the title, I fucking love this move. I wish he wasn’t retiring as he’s an all time personality and DT, but from a marketing standpoint I don’t know if any player-specific sponsorship has made more sense than this. Vince Wilfork is a HOUSE, loves football, loves barbecue, and is beloved by pretty much every NFL fan ever. Try to prove me wrong if you want, but Air Vince is America in a nutshell (see most relatable GIF ever above). Also considering the entire city of Boston still fucking loves the guy even after he left just shows how great of a spokesperson he’ll surely become. That god forsaken city doesn’t like their own players half the time (e.g. David Price, Pablo Sandoval), so that’s really saying something. Hyping up a Sunday Night Football tailgate is one of the most ‘America’ things you can possibly do, and a great move to get the word out about Kingsford Charcoal, even thought they’re far and away the biggest brand for that sort of thing but market share stuff I guess…

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Looking back on the big man’s career, he’s almost a lock for the hall and is one of the greatest DT/NT’s of all time: 2x NFL Champ, 4x All-Pro, 5x Pro Bowl, and a lynchpin in the formation, kickstart, and progression of the most dominant dynasty in NFL history.

There will undoubtedly be bigger players in the NFL, but even as a persistently disgruntled Bears fan, I can guarantee none will be more universally respected and adored. Keep doing your thing Vince, you will be missed.

Hot Dogs are, and always will be the “Official American Food”, but nevertheless, these commercials are a welcome change from the ex-pro player opening up a car dealership in a suburb 99.9% of Americans don’t know outside of a big city.

Until tomorrow.

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