Daily Blog #45: Usain Bolt Places 3rd in “Last Race”

I don’t know much about Track & Field. My knowledge basically spans recent Olympics, that Jesse Owens/Carl Lewis guy who won a long time ago, T&F 30:30’s, the Black Panther fist up guys, and Usain Bolt, mostly for all the stupid shit he says to the media, but also for the sprinting stuff I guess.

The Matter At Hand

Track nerds have at me, but I have no idea why or in what Usain Bolt and all the other “big name” sprinters were competing today. I get that it’s some shit like the World Championships of Track and Field, but like why is that even a thing? The Olympics were last summer, and because that get’s the most media attention (as it does for most other sports as well), by all logic that should be the most important. In my mind, that makes sense. So I don’t know why people are getting all sad about Usain placing third in his final race ever. The dude’s not quite Michael Phelps-level, but really, who is, and besides, being in the tier below is the next best thing as every other great is there too. He’s arguably the greatest sprinter of all time, proving it with multiple world records and gold medals over four different Olympics (2008-2016).

T&F Confusion

I’m also confused as to why these guys don’t just play professional football in America. Some teams, like the Browns and Bears, are so bad, I don’t know why they just don’t just say fuck it and give them an invite to camp. Anyone can add muscle and learn to catch an oddly shaped, enlarged leather ball. Plus, running routes isn’t rocket science. Granted, you can’t tell Usain Bolt, ‘hey man, go run a back shoulder fade (if that’s a thing) to the back right corner of the endzone’, he’s going to have no idea what the fuck that means. Instead, why not just have them run end arounds, jet sweeps, hail mary deep routes, and kick returns that require no skill, just speed and agility? I mean, fuck it, why not. Some teams need all the help they can get and it’s all these guys’ve got.

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In biking, you can put sponsor logos on pretty much every piece of the body covered by clothing. In soccer, there’s leagues in pretty much every country and sponsorships galore. In lacrosse, players have jobs outside of the pros. In poker, there’s casinos in every big city in the world and online gambling for shut-ins. In volleyball, I guess there’s European leagues that pay you. But again, I’m stumped on Track and Field. How do you make money? Is there some underground Fight Club-kinda pro circuit I’ve never heard of? Do brands sponsor these runners and if so, why? I’ve never heard of anyone outside of Usain Bolt and old dudes who are dead or retired and I don’t think I’m in the minority when I say that.

The End? Nah.

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There’s also not a chance in hell Bolt is permanently retired if he’s chumming it up with Manchester United star Paul Pogba “jokingly” asking for a tryout. He loves the spotlight and the attention, and at his level, with his success, I don’t blame him. Regardless, for however long or short your retirement lasts, congrats on the great career Usain, the majority of the world (not really me) will miss watching you run for 10 seconds at a time and then not again for days. Sorry, Track is stupid, don’t @ me.

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One last thing in regards to the title picture for this blog. Justin Gatlin, your blood doping ass shouldn’t even be in this shit, whatever it is, but since it is and you’re representing America, don’t hovel and bow at the feet of a great. You didn’t see the Gasol bros at Kobe’s feet after the USA beat Spain in ’08 and ’12, so please, show the greatest country on Earth a little respect.

Until tomorrow.

 

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