You thought I was done didn’t you? Ha, well no. Getting rid of me isn’t that easy.
$263 M-I-L-L-I-O-N D-O-L-L-A-R-S
I told you it would fucking happen, and guess what, it fucking happened. I’m not a soothsayer by any means as many saw the writing on the wall for weeks now, but a fee that doubles up the old world record of £89 million for Paul Pogba in 2016 and then some is still insanity of the highest order.
Nobody is worth a transfer fee of that much, especially in the French Ligue 1. If he doesn’t win POY in his first year there, I’ll never watch soccer again. These power clubs like Real Madrid, Barcelona, PSG, and the like set these obscene release clauses thinking no club in their right mind would ever pay it, and I don’t blame them. Who would ever want to lose forever-altering players for anything less than an ungodly amount of money. But from a transfer ‘war chest’ standpoint, I’m pretty certain PSG has infinite money.
No, I’m not talking about actual snakes, but as an Arsenal fan, I have some experience with traitors (see amphibious beings above). Here’s my problem: In American sports, a traitor (leaving for money/to a rival) is the worst thing you can do. That’s fact, unless you play for a team in St. Louis, then I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to get the fuck out of that dreadful place. The difference between American sports stars and European soccer stars is that they’re real fucking people. I know from a physical standpoint that doesn’t make sense but lemme explain. In American football, depending on the position, very few “make it”. However, if you’re lucky enough to be part of the handful, you have a small window to go and make your money. Unless you’re some selfish gold digging douchebag like that MOTHER FUCKER Kevin Durant, most players own up to this money aspect. Conversely, in soccer: 17 year old KIDS are making millions/year, pretty much everyone has about two dozen sponsorship deals, and players play until they’re literally 40 as there’s no contact whatsoever, rendering the players pussies. In my mind, loyalty is a priority, and with that comes money. While I hate the Golden State Warriors, Steph Curry is one loyal dude, and he truly deserves that mega contract. So I guess my point is, why would someone leave one of the most well run organizaitons to join a team owned by whatever and whoever the fuck Oryx Qatar Sports Investments is? If that’s not headed by some tech genius, oil baron, or Saudi prince, all of whom know nothing about soccer aside from who has high ratings on the latest FIFA, I’ll eat a bowl of D batteries.
I don’t know what you thought coming to Barca, but Messi is always going to be #1. You say all this shit about how playing at the club has been such a great honor, how you’ve always looked up to the players, how it’s been such a challenge, and all this shit, but like where the fuck is that coming from? Over the course of your 4-ish years, you’ve never said anything about being unhappy or not being challenged enough. The fans showed you love, the club, the players, and still, even knowing this (as any logical person who knows anything about soccer does), but the reality of it all is, your selfish ass wanted the spotlight, and now I guess you’ve finally got it. Apparently challenging for Champions Leagues and La Liga league titles while still being a top 5 player in the world year in, year out, WITHOUT FAIL isn’t enough for you.
So listen here you Brazilian weasel scumbag, have fun in Paris. It’s a city of awful food, awful booze, awful music, awful people, and constant heartbreak. I guess it’s good you’re making €90 million/year as that’ll certainly buy you lots of it. I’m beyond done with your traitor ass, fuck right off Neymar.