Wake Up To: Tim Tebow the Messiah, pt. 1,000,000

I don’t know anything about the production of music, but this song sounds like it was made by an 8th grader with garageband and some sound bites for a gym class project.

Timmy fucking Tebow is back in the news and it feels sooooo good. Don’t get it twisted, he’s still a horrendous baseball player with no potential of making the Mets aside from potential jersey and ticket sales. This walk-off is just so perfect ‘God boy’ Tebow. Who else ┬ádo you turn to when you’ve got the closest thing to an angel in the outfield the game of baseball has ever seen… yeah, exactly.

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I don’t know what Advanced-A minor league baseball is or entails, but according to ever-reliable Google searches, it apparently now also houses football teams.

As the (kinda) old saying goes, ‘rappers want to be ball (basketball) players and ball players want to be rappers’. So by that logic, do most football players want to be baseball players and visa versa? Probably not, but while I have your attention, let’s analyze this gif of Drizzy Drake for added insight… or maybe… not.

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Believe it or not, these are real BASEBALL stats for 2007 Heisman winner Tim Tebow. Maybe the most shocking thing I’ve seen all day, even considering Brandon Paul actually getting signed by a good team.

Fuck Bama, Tebow forever.

Until tomorrow

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