Daily Blog #7: WWE/Lavar Ball

I’m definitely in the minority when I say this, but I actually kinda like Lavar Ball, antics and all. That having been said, Lavar + LaMelo + Lonzo on WWE last night (thank god for YouTube clips) was fucking genius. From a marketing stance, for the Ball clan & BBB, WWE fans will pay for and believe pretty much anything, as shown by their fandom in something as stupid as the professional wrestling. The appearance also furthers Lavar’s image as the heel of the family business, which, judging by his words/actions last night, I’m pretty sure he’s come to embrace. Below is a YouTube link to wanted to watch it, surprisingly, it’s pretty entertaining.

WWE Rant


WWE/WWF/whatever the fuck “professional wrestling” is now, fans are some of, if not the most, insufferable people ever and I’ll explain my reasoning why:

  1. I’m pretty sure they think it’s real. It really takes a special brand of idiot to believe smashing a chair on someones’ back (which I know from personal experience is not as stable as you’d think, the back, not absorbing a hit from a chair) wouldn’t seriously debilitate long-term.
  2. Who the fuck came up with these stage names? They literally sound like someone used the nickname generator from a 2000s NBA 2K video game in the create-a-player mode. Does anyone know what an Undertaker actually is/does? I don’t know, and I doubt 90% of people know, although 100% of wrestling fans would make some shit up. Some of these guys’ names are their actual fucking names… brilliant WWE! Super creative!
  3. People actually pay monthly subscription money to watch that fake trash. Albeit $10/month, but I can think of literally a thousand other things I would rather spend $120 on…
  4. Big PPV fights often cost over $50. I’m starting to realize a lot of my arguments are centered around money, but the point still remains, why would you EVER pay to see two dudes, dripping in sweat, fake throwing each other and arguing about shit that doesn’t matter. If you wanted to see that garbage for real, which I still don’t understand in the slightest, spend a week in Philly.
  5. The random feuds/arguments/pussy yelling matches that go on between the personalities. But Luke, MMA fighters get in yelling matches in their press conferences all the time! Yeah, they do, but they actually fight for real to settle the dispute, not make out backstage and keep the act going. Anyways, there’s two parts to this: A. Who has time to keep track of who’s married to who, who’s cheating on who, who hates who, and who’s already fought? I say this because people actually know these intricacies. B. Why do people care? I’ve already said this in a different way like four times already, but it’s just a bunch of wrestlers who peaked in high school who still think they’re the shit. Hell, I could develop muscles the size of a car tire too if I used steroids at the rate they do.
Going back to Lavar’s appearance last night, I don’t know why, when he was getting ripped to shreds for all the dumb, obvious lies he’s said, he said something like “Hey Miz (or whatever the guys’ stupid ring name was that made no sense), you fake grope sweaty men for the paid entertainment of other old sweaty men.” I get that that’s 0-100 real fucking quick, but how would you even respond to that? Put Lavar through a table to prove the “sport” is real, thereby restoring your dignity? Gee thats a cool idea, but when he breaks every bone north of his dick, you bet your ass you’ve got a hell of a lawsuit coming your way. Also, I feel like they told Lavar to sell it, realizing that it’s all fake. I’m pretty sure that thought went right out the window post him taking his shirt off… I mean c’mon, look at his face!
Random side note, big fan of Lavar’s Billy Madison-esque walk/ran/trot that’s 100% only for the cameras for the purpose of getting under people’s skin. Legendary character that Lavar Ball, and I’ll stand by that. He may get his son posterized in every city with an NBA franchise for his outlandish comments, but hey, at least the fans’ll get a show.
Until tomorrow.

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