1. Happy Gilmore, 1996 Tour Championship/Gold Jacket
All this boy Happy Gilmore’s tryna do is win his house back for his Momma and Shooter’s gone and fucked that up to. “Gold Jacket, Green Jacket, Who gives a shit?” Greatest putt of all time, fuck Shooter McGavin.
2. Larry Mize, 1987 Masters Playoff
I know nothing about golf and I won’t pretend to. But I’m pretty sure Mize’s shot in ’87 was probably the best of all time. I also find it odd how much people know about Augusta National. Inch to the left, fucked. Down the hill. Inch to the right, fucked. In the water. Mize hit it dead on and had a 10/10 celly to go with it.
3. Bishop’s entire final round, Caddyshack, 1980
For the most part, golf hardos piss me the fuck off. Bishop is not only a bro for playing in the pouring rain and lighting, but he also proved to be a true American hero in his sticking it to the man and playing his round when other country club old dudes told him not to.
4. Tiger Woods, 2005 Masters (to force playoff… which he won.)
I was never really old enough to appreciate Tigers’ greatness. All I really know him for is his affair, receding hairline, and his epic DUI tape. But I wouldn’t wish that ball coming to rest on the lip of the cup and not going in on my worst enemy. Maybe the worst, most aggravating feeling in sports. But honestly, I wouldn’t know as I don’t think I’ve ever even gotten on the Green in a real round of golf.
In current golf news, Jordan Spieth is fucking back. I’m an absolutely AWFUL golfer, like to the point where I miss the ball 90% of the time, but I can’t even begin to fathom the degree of difficulty behind holding out via a chip from the sand trap on 18.