Daily Blog #3: The BIG3

Ice Cube

Ice-Cube-Says-Nice-Things-Angrily-On-Jimmy-Kimmel-2014.jpg
Ice Cube may be straight outta Compton, but I’ve gotta admit, he’s a fucking genius.
The BIG3 is straight ELECTRICITY from the backyards of every kids’ driveway in America. Sunday can’t come fast enough and I don’t even have cable to watch the game on FS1. 3v3, 4 pointers, random foul shot rules that kinda make no sense, no personal fouls, technical fouls mean nothing, first to 60… what a brilliant fucking concept. This set of rules looks like it was made by the Pistons teams of the late 80s/early 90s in a prison yard as you can basically murder a person and all that happens is 2, 2pt free throws + possession. Absolutely WILD, and yet, somehow a brilliant concept.

The Captains:

bil-kmart-fight.jpg
AI, who’s so broke he needed to take home two paychecks (coach and player).
Chauncey Billups, who may not even play as it looks like he’ll soon be making moves in the Cavs front office, which, thinking about it, is probably the easiest job in the world as everyone knows LeBron is basically their Owner, Pres of Basketball Ops, GM, and Coach.
 
Kenyon Martin, a dude who I only know from his fight v. Corey Maggette. I’m also pretty sure his son is more famous after one viral dunk…
Corey Maggette, a dude I only know from his fight v. Kenyon Martin.
White Chocolate, who has the most command-respecting nickname in the the entirety of the 2000s.
White Mamba… need I say anything?

The Coaches:

wnba-fight-med.jpg

Allen “The Answer” Iverson is the coach of the team he captains, because of course he is. That way, he can regulate the number of practices, or lack thereof in his case.
Charles Oakley is the definition of a wildcard. Dude got banned from the Garden after a violent spurt wpith security. Although it is Phil, which makes it not super surprising. I’m expect his team to almost kill their opponents in another way in addition to their shooting…
Clyde “The Glide” Drexler, and this is all coming from YouTube highlight tapes, but if his team doesn’t just try to poster dudes, imma lose so much respect for him.
Gary “The Glove” Payton is a  legend, but I’m too young to know anything about him. I assumes he talks a ton of shit but that’s not saying much as that’s the 90s for ya.
Rick Barry will forever be granny style guy in my mind. Nevermind the fact that he’s a an NBA champ, 8-time all-star, 5 time first team all-NBA, CBB HOF, NBA HOF, and his number is retired by the Warriors, his free throw form is my first thought.
George “The Iceman” Gervin, as bad as this is as I know he’s a legend, I know legitimately nothing about him aside from his top 10 all time nickname.
Julius “Dr. J” Erving, as mad as this is, I actually thought he died in like 2008-2010 (they’re all the same year to me). No idea if he was actually good or if he just dunked on dudes so people hailed him.
Rick Mahorn, a lot like Charles Oakley, but the OG. Instead of scoring/dunk highlight tapes online, it’s basically just him beating people senseless. Ah the golden era of basketball.

The Pick big3-killer-3s-logo.jpg

I would need to Wikipedia 90% of the guys in this league, but if I had to pick a team to win it all, IF CHAUNCEY STAYS I’ve got the “Killer 3’s”. If he really does leave for the Cavs front office, I’ve got the “3 Headed Monsters” mostly because it has the most players I’ve actually heard of.
You best believe I’m spending whatever money it takes to see this shit in-person on July 23rd at UIC Pavilion. I have no idea what to expect, for all I know games could last 10 minutes. What’s most likely to happen is some 2010 Miami Heat/2017 Golden State Warriors shit with whatever team Ice Cube has the most money on. Either that, or AI will take every shot in every game he plays. But it’ll still be pure electricity.
Until tomorrow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s